My Dog Might Have Been a Republican!
Farley the Wonder Dog was my best friend and a wonderful companion. From British Columbia to the Alabama Gulf Coast to the Niagara Escarpment, we hung around together for over 14 years. During that time we got to know each other pretty well, and though he died six months ago, I miss him every day.
But recently I came across a song titled “I Think my Dog Is a Democrat,” and it got me to thinking about my pooch.
Could he have been a closet Republican? Could he have pulled the proverbial wool over my eyes for all those years?
I hope I’m overreacting here, but examine the evidence and I think you will understand my unease.
You see, Farley
· Was very loyal to his family but barked at strangers
· Appreciated his vet but didn’t care if other dogs could afford veterinarian care
· Wasn’t really all that bright
· Had no desire to travel
· Watched while others did all the work and thought he was supervising
· Defecated and urinated wherever he liked without considering the environmental and social impacts
· Growled at dogs he didn’t recognize
· Did not like to share, especially food
· Liked cats as individuals but loathed them as a group
· Did not seem to appreciate his good fortune even though he was a rescue dog
· Showed little interest in learning new tricks
· Didn’t read
· Thought his house was the best in the whole world but had hardly visited any others
· Took having healthy food and clean water for granted
· Chased shadows and barked at thunder
· Loved toys
· Looked to his Master to solve all of his problems
· Insisted on winning at tug-of-war
· Had to be constantly treated for heart worms
· Expected his dinner and breakfast on time and sulked if it isn’t
· Felt he was entitled to do pretty much what he wanted when he wanted
· Particularly liked loud, squeaky stuffed animals
· Liked to run with other dogs in packs as long as they were more or less the same size and colour
· Had blue eyes
Now I realize this isn’t conclusive, but there was the time I noticed the radio had been tuned to Rush Limbaugh. There were only two of us in the house and I know I didn’t do it.